Tallulah Willise lustlik video varjas ääretut hingeahastust (3)

Tallulah kirjutab Instagramis, et pole veel valmis oma diagnoosist põhjalikumalt kirjutama. Kuid ta manitseb, et pealtnäha lõbus inimene võib varjata masendust ja enesetapumõtteid. Valu ei pruugi olla nähtav.

 

 

 

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When I filmed this video I remember everyone telling me over and over how much they wished they had my energy, my freeness, a ownership of self. When this video was filmed I was 3 months into the deepest suicidal hole I had ever been in. We are not what we show. I’m not ready to share my story yet, but I’m with you, I see you, I am you, and I love you. Pain is pain. it’s different and enters each of our lives through a myriad of ways, but each electric stab or dull ache is real. The kind of pain that you can’t see, the pain that lives in the hallow space behind your throat. Im scared of my brain and the capacity for pain it has and will continue to bear. My fight is daily and for the duration of my life and each day I choose to find the glowed moments, a thefted giggle, or true peaceful pause, I know I was brave that day. I like to be better with words, as an armor and a way to help my brain comprehend my feelings and my ego is grumbling that this is a shit ode to something that lives so close to my heart, but my ego can eat a bag of dicks. I have a great ole bunch of acronyms that explain my diagnosis, and slowly they are no longer scary to me. Try try TRY to be sweet to yourself, find every little bean of love you can and absorb it. #worldsmentalhealthday

A post shared by tallulah (@buuski) on Oct 10, 2019 at 10:00pm PDT

"Mäletan, et kui ma seda videot filmisin, korrutasid kõik mulle, kuidas nad tahaksid, et neilgi oleks samasugune energia, vabadus, enesekindlus nagu minul. Kui see video filmiti, olin olnud kolm kuud kõige sügavamas enesetapumõtetega augus, milles ma eales olnud olin. Me pole see, mida me näitame."

Tallulah kinnitab, et on mõttes kõigi kaaskannatajatega. "Ma näen teid, ma olen teie ja ma armastan teid." Ta ütleb, et peab endaga iga päev suurt võitlust pidama, kuid püüab leida säravaid hetki, millest jõudu ammutada. "Palun püüdke enda vastu hellad olla, leidke iga väike armastuseterake ja imege see endasse."