Foto: AFP/Scanpix
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11. september 2018, 15:30

„Dawson's Creeki“ tähe naine elas üle kolm nurisünnitust (2)

Omaaegsest noortesarjast "Dawson's Creek" tuntud James Van Der Beek sai kolm kuud tagasi viienda lapse. Näitleja tunnistab alles nüüd, et tema ja ta teine abikaasa Kimberly on pidanud üle elama oma kõvasti südamevalu.

"Tahtsin öelda paar sõna raseduse katkemise kohta," kirjutas Van Der Beek Instagramis oma pisitütre Gwendolyni foto juurde. "Meil on neid aastate jooksul olnud kolm (sealhulgas just enne seda väikest kaunitari)."

 
 
 
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Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages... of which we’ve had three over the years (including right before this little beauty). First off - we need a new word for it. “Mis-carriage”, in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother - as if she dropped something, or failed to “carry.” From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start. Second... it will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it’s rightful space. And then... once you’re able... try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before. Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards - you’ve been warned 😍). I’ve heard some amazing metaphysical explanations for them, mostly centering around the idea that these little souls volunteer for this short journey for the benefit of the parents... but please share whatever may have given you peace or hope along the way... Along with a new word for this experience. #miscarriage #WeNeedANewName #MoreCommonThanYouHearAbout @vanderkimberly

A post shared by James Van Der Beek (@vanderjames) on

Näitleja nendib, et sõna "nurisünnitus" viitaks otsekui ema süüle. "Minu teadmist mööda pole sel ema tegemiste või tegematajätmistega mitte midagi pistmist, kui kõige äärmuslikumad juhud välja arvata."

Jamesi sõnul rebib raseduse katkemine hinge lõhki. Ta julgustab oma saatusekaaslasi valule voli andma, kuid mitte lootust kaotama. "Ja kord ... kui oled selleks juba suuteline ... püüa mõista, milline ilu on selles, et suutsid end nendest kildudest hoopis teistmoodi kokku panna kui enne."

Jamesi ja Kimberly vanim laps, tütar Olivia, on seitsmene. Järgnevad Joshua (6), Annabel Leah (4) ja Emilia (2) ja tilluke Gwendolyn.